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Thread: Staff Memo

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Bt Panjang
    Posts
    74

    Default Staff Memo

    Dear all,
    Enjoy your new revised staff welfare !!!
    STAFF MEMO
    From: Chief Financial Officer

    As you know, the realities of the downturn have hit home and I am forced to introduce the following cost-cutting measures to help shore up our beloved company. I know you will understand that the pain is temporary and the gains will be there for all of us to reap when the company comes through these difficult times stronger... and ready to ride the next big wave. So with immediate effect, all staff will be required to adhere to the following:

    a. The cups on the two vending machines are to be recycled. Annabelle has already serialised them.

    b. Sabbatical leave: Executives booked for New York will now go to Kukup in Johor Bahru instead. Senior executives can go further - up to Yong Peng.

    c. Our chalet lease in Pulau Ubin has ended. However, as management takes a keen interest in staff welfare, we have arranged with Francis (from Admin Dept) to rent out one of his rooms at Blk 923, Pasir Ris Drive. His flat was chosen for its proximity to the sea and you can still see Ubin from the window.

    d. Entertainment claims: Staff will be required to go for a 30-min demonstration by Raj from Finance Dept, who will show you how to withdraw your credit card slowly from your wallet (58 secs), so that others at a business lunch will inadvertently beat you to it when the bill comes.

    e. The Valentine's Day white chocolates (Deluxeur) which I gave out in January : Those of you who have yet to open the box, please return them (expiry date: Dec 2009).

    f. Monthly Best Employee Award : The $1000 cash award will now be replaced by a box of Deluxeur white chocolates.

    g. Annual Best Employee Award : The 14-day Disneyland/Hawaii tour and gold Rolex Oyster watch will be replaced by TWO boxes of Deluxeur white chocolates.

    h. Medical: The Oxfordshire-Hopkins Medical Group will no more be on our panel. Annabelle will give you the address of Hong Tong Hong Medical Hall in Sungei Road. Bring your company pass for a 10% discount.

    i. Country Club Memberships : Senior executives must return their membership cards to Annabelle, who will then register your name with Bishan Community Centre.

    j. Transport Allowance : No reduction of rate! However, it will be paid in alternate months.

    k. Gifts for clients : New choices. The Bohemian Crystal list will be replaced by the one from 7-eleven.

    l. Annual Dinner & Dance : No change (April 20th, yay!), but the venue is switched from The Ritz-Carlton to the void deck of Annabelle's flat in Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10.

    m. Bonus : This time, staff welfare comes first! Instead of the usual amount, we raised it up to $2 million. Each employee will be given a Singapore Sweep ticket. The draw is on May 6.:clap::clap::clap:

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Johor
    Posts
    4,744

    Default

    ??????? Should it be here ????
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Johor
    Posts
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    Default

    Oh i get it just for laugh har.. lol..
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    almost anywhere, everywhere!
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    Default

    ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!:clap::clap:


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Yishun
    Posts
    637

    Default

    times are really bad..
    hahaha
    :clap: Life w/o music will be a mistake :clap:


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    The Roadless Travelled
    Posts
    3,839

    Default

    hahahaahahaahahh
    -- SAVE A HORSE...RIDE A COWBOY--

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    sg
    Posts
    1,119

    Default

    hahahaha. function to be held at void deck.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Jurong West (Kampong)
    Posts
    450

    Default

    Wah biang, this one if I edit and print out... I sure first 1 to be murdered.
    Drive like a Devil and you will soon be one. Kiss my bumber and I will kick your ass until you forget your own name.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Bedok South
    Posts
    3,471

    Default

    Anyone in LMC HR head.... ; p
    His/Her company will die ; p
    セックス。ワイン。コーヒー。。

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